Many will never forget our national championship run in 2002 at Indiana University. But some things are bigger than basketball, and what happened shortly after helped define the man I am today. Nothing is more important than family; however, few are prepared for the moment when a family’s caregiving roles become reversed.
My mom had always been my—and my brothers’—biggest fan. From making mountains of pancakes for my teammates to justifiably giving referees a hard time for mistakes at AAU games, Mary Anne Coverdale was a constant fixture for me and my teammates. This never changed, but what happened during the first preseason game of my senior year changed our lives forever. My mom had been at Assembly Hall more times than I can count, but that day, at just 55 years old, she got lost and had no clue where she was.
After that, my family started meeting with professionals about early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. I wanted to do something special for her my senior year, so I wrote her a letter: “I want you to remember for the rest of your life how much I love you. So before every game, I’m going to point to you before the jump ball.”
Before each game, I would point to my mother. As the season progressed, my father would have to remind her what was going on, but what I remember most is the first few games when she excitedly pointed back at me. That is the way I always want to remember her.
We have what one could describe as a family of alpha males, with my two older brothers and father. And oftentimes, the hardest thing for proud men to do is ask for help. But as caregivers, you have questions about where you need to go and what you need to do. Nobody wants to be a caregiver or even knows how to be one until you are put in a situation like this. But when you are facing the issues with your loved one, you are forced to make these decisions.
I am proud to speak about my experiences, because our family could not have gotten through this alone. Recently, I spoke at the Interfaith Health and Wellness Summit presented by Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield and was greatly heartened to see all the Indiana leaders and professionals working to spread awareness of these issues. There are many programs available to assist caregivers and their loved ones, but these programs are of no use if no one knows about them.
One such program launched this year is the Indiana PathWays for Aging program, which helps low-income Hoosiers receive long-term care at their own home. Research shows that 75% or more of older adults would like to age at home and in their community. PathWays makes it possible for Hoosiers to age their way, offering more choices to get the care they need while maintaining their independence. This makes a world of difference for all the caregivers looking to spend as much time with their loved ones as possible.
While my mom passed away in 2010, I hope her memory may be a blessing to all those going through similar situations. The ultimate goal is to have memories you can remember forever with your loved ones, no matter what they are going through. With great partners like Anthem and initiatives like the PathWays program, I hope Hoosier caregivers will continue to gain more resources and opportunities than ever to make these lasting memories.•
Coverdale is a risk adviser at Insurance Management Group and a former Indiana University basketball player.